Angel Takes a Bath
by llxxRawr its Beansxxll
Summary: Based on 'Gary Takes a Bath'. I own nothing.


At Fluttershy's peaceful cottage just outside the Everfree Forest, the large grandfather clock she keeps in her living room goes off, signaling a dire time for her pet bunny, Angel.

Fluttershy: Angel, looks like it's that time of the week again; Bath time!

Angel's pupils dilate.

Fluttershy: Come on. Let's go get the water started.

She silently hovers through the halls to the bath, but Angel refuses to go with her. She realizes that her white ironically-named bunny isn't beside her and comes fluttering back to him.

Fluttershy: You're gonna have to get in that tub, Angel.

Despite her warning, Angel just sits there.

Fluttershy: Now, Angel, we can do this the hard way or the easy way. Or the medium way. Or the semi-medium easy-hard way. Or the sort-of-hard with a touch of awkward-easy-difficult-challenging way.

Fluttershy squints her eyes when Angel continues standing, still as a statue.

Fluttershy: So, that's how you want to play it, huh?

Cut to Fluttershy holding a box right outside the door of the bathroom, holding a box.

Fluttershy: Angel, check out this new toy! Fetch!

She throws the ball, and he chases after it, as per the owner-pet rules, but halfway to the bathroom, it turns around in mid-air and lands right beside her.

Fluttershy: Huh?

She takes the box and reads the cover, which she apparently didn't do before.

Fluttershy: **New Boomerang Pet Ball: Really Works**.

She grimaces and stomps off with anger, only to be hit in the back of the head with the box.

In an act of desperation, Fluttershy, literally a ticking time bomb, flies up to Angel, panicking.

Fluttershy: ANGEL! THERE'S A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST! IT'S GONNA EXPLODE IN THREE SECONDS UNLESS YOU TAKE A BATH!

Angel doesn't seem to care about his owner's safety.

Fluttershy: (quiet) Please…

The bomb explodes with Fluttershy still strapped into it.

Cut to Fluttershy, completely uninjured, and trying her best to hypnotize Angel.

Fluttershy: I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages.

She shows him an image of a bathtub, a showerhead (with running water), a bar of soap, and a hideous mare giggling.

Fluttershy jumps in surprise, as that last one wasn't supposed to be there.

Fluttershy: Sorry you had to see that.

For her next attempt, she trots up to the phone and pretends to call somepony.

Fluttershy: Hello. Fancy French restaurant? I've got a naughty bunny here who won't take a bath…What? Could you say that again?

Angel hops in the other direction as Fluttershy pleads with the French.

Fluttershy: Slow down, it's like you're speaking some other language!

She slams the phone down and tries something else to coax Angel into bathing.

Fluttershy: Hey, Angel. How about some leapfrog?

Using her wings as an extra boost, she jumps over him and lands gently on the other side.

Fluttershy: Okay, your turn!

He hops onto her back, and she bucks him all the way to the bathroom. Unfortunately, her aim is a little off, and he goes smashing into the wall.

On her next try, Angel is wrapped up in bandages and holding a cane.

Fluttershy: Hey, Angel. How about some leapfrog?

Her old trick does not faze him, and he conks her on the head with his cane.

Fluttershy's next plan? Bribery.

Fluttershy: I've got a nice gem for the next fella to take a bath in this house!

Spike suddenly shows up in a bathtub in Fluttershy's house. He grabs the gem and drives the bathtub away.

She does a complicated dance routine while humming to get Angel into the tub. She even tries to add a song into it humming a little tune as she performs the delicate arm movements in the dance.

Sweat runs down her brow as she finishes, and she waits for Angel to accept her offer.

Fluttershy: That didn't work either, huh?

In the middle of his nap, Fluttershy shakes him awake. She is wearing a bandana and a pirate eyepatch.

Fluttershy: Angel! Angel! Angel! Look what I found! It's an old pirate treasure map revealing the location of buried pirate treasure in this very house!

She takes a hand-drawn map that she doodled on some college-ruled paper and shows it to him.

Fluttershy: Come on, boy! Let's go get that treasure! Whoo!

He reluctantly follows her into the living room.

Fluttershy: Okay, Angel. Now, 40 paces to the left. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten…

He follows his owner up the stairs and to a door marked with a painted-on red X.

Fluttershy: …twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven…

She notices that the door is right in front of her, and her calculations were 13 paces off.

Fluttershy: …forty. The treasure must be in here!

She opens the door to the bathroom and gallops to a bathtub cleverly disguised as a treasure chest.

Fluttershy: Wow, Angel, look! A pirate treasure chest!

He taps his foot, suspicious of his owner's motives.

Fluttershy: Why, no, Angel, this isn't the bathtub.

She notices a brown paint can and kicks it out of his view.

Fluttershy: It's treasure! Look; doubloons!

She holds out two bars of soap in her hooves.

Fluttershy: Don't drop 'em.

Next, she pulls a rubber duck from the 'treasure chest'.

Fluttershy: Look at this broach!

He still doesn't believe her completely, as his thumping foot shows.

Fluttershy: I don't know what a bunny would want with a broach! Now, why don't you just get in the tub?!

She throws him into the tub. Feeling quite satisfied with herself, she turns to walk out, but then notices that he is clinging to her mane.

Fluttershy: Get in the tub!

She picks him up to throw him, but he latches himself onto her back.

Fluttershy: Get in the tub!

This time around, he hangs onto her face.

Fluttershy: Get in the tub!

He slips under her and hangs from her belly.

Fluttershy: In the tub!

He makes it onto her rump when she tries to grab him.

Fluttershy: IN THE TUB!

She finally gets him off of her, but he just floats in mid-air right above the bathtub.

Fluttershy, astonished at this gravitational impossibility, barely has time to stare in awe, as he just pops back by her side.

Close to her breaking point, Fluttershy can feel an eye-twitch and a bout of insanity coming on.

She picks Angel up by his tail, but he manages to claw onto the floor.

Fluttershy: Now, Angel, are you gonna get in this tub, or am I gonna have to-AAH!

From the force of her pulling, Angel is launched through the second floor and is now clinging onto the high ceiling.

Fluttershy, hanging from his ears, lets her fear of heights get to her when she looks down and notices the bathtub far down through the hole in the floor.

Fluttershy: Angel, um, could you, um…

He tucks one ear in and leaves her dangling by a hoof.

Fluttershy: Angel, no!

He keeps his other ear to himself and lets her fall.

Fluttershy: ANGEL!

Obviously forgetting her wings due to her fear, she lands in the bathtub meant for her pet.

After recovering, she pokes her head above the water, infuriated. Time for her assertiveness training to kick in.

Fluttershy: Alright, Angel! You have duped and/or frustrated me for the last time! So, if I can't get you to come to the bath, I'll just have to bring the bath to you.

She goes full-out warrior this time around; She uses the bath water to load up a various array of water guns, then ties a bandana around her head. Then, she does a few push-ups and sit-ups for extra toughness. She even puts on some pants and a black tank top, then paints her face with black war paint.

Angel, reading a Carrots Monthly on Fluttershy's recliner, has no idea of the impending danger about to fall on him.

Fluttershy: Psst. Angel.

He looks up just in time to see her click her gun and smile deviously.

Fluttershy: Bath delivery.

He recoils in fear just as she sprays a large amount of water where he was sitting. He jumps out of the way just in time as the chair is sprayed squeaky clean.

Fluttershy: Come back, Angel! I have something to 'chair' with you!

She shoots some more H20 at him. He hops past a pile of dishes, but Fluttershy blasts them, too. They land in a nice pyramid, sparkling clean.

Fluttershy: 'Dish' is more like it!

From the outside of the cottage, large amounts of water can be seen cascading forth from the windows. The sounds of clicking guns and little paws scampering across the floor can be heard also.

He desperately crawls out the pet door and makes a beeline for the woods. A jet of water follows him out.

Fluttershy: 'Water' you waiting for, Angel?

She hears the desperate thumps of Angel from the top of a tree. Due to her wings still being wet from the bath, she grabs a ladder and climbs, hoping to rescue and spray Angel at the same time.

Fluttershy: Aw, stuck in a tree?

When she reaches the top, she can see Angel's silhouette, accompanied by the sound of thumps.

Fluttershy: It's time to clean up your act, Angel!

She clicks her gun and sprays him with it repeatedly until she runs out of ammo.

She grins, but it soon turns to a frown, when she sees that it is just a vinyl record playing the sound of thumping feet, with a robot of Angel moving his foot to the beat.

The robot shorts out, leading Fluttershy to come to her bunny's aid.

Fluttershy: Oh, no! I bathed Angel too hard and removed his skin!

She sees the ladder slowly moving away from the tree, Angel holding it by the base.

Fluttershy: ANGEL!

He looks up at his helpless owner innocently.

Fluttershy: Bring that ladder back this instant!

It falls to the ground, Angel not doing anything to catch it.

Fluttershy: I am really not amused, mister! You are going to take a bath, and you are going to get clean right now!

He thumps a message to her in Morse code.

Fluttershy: I am SO the boss of you!

Another message.

Fluttershy: It may be a free country, but you live in my house, under my rules!

Thump, thump, thump.

Fluttershy: Don't use that tone of voice with me! You will do what I say, when I say!

Angel shrugs and hops somewhere else.

Fluttershy: What are you doing?! I am talking to you, mister!

He reaches a nearby mud puddle and stops at its bank, looking up at her for a reaction.

Fluttershy: Do not go near that mud puddle! Angel Bunny, do you hear me? I am giving you three seconds to get away from that mud puddle! One!

He takes a step towards it.

Fluttershy: Two!

He is now mere inches away from a dirt bath.

Fluttershy: Two and a half!

He takes one of his feet and holds it over the puddle.

Fluttershy: Don't make me say three!

He sticks his foot right over the surface of the mud.

Fluttershy: Angel!

He holds this position, enjoying the look on her face.

Fluttershy: Angel! ANGEL!

She steps to close to the edge of the tree and starts her fall to the ground.

Fluttershy: AAAAAAANGEEEEEEEELLLLL!

She falls with a squishing sound to the wet earth below. Fluttershy, completely caked in mud, has a sorrowful expression on her face.

Fluttershy: I'm a dirty pony.

Cut to Fluttershy in the bath, holding a bar of soap. Angel thumps another message to her as a reminder.

Fluttershy: Yeah, yeah, Angel, I'm getting behind my ears.

He grins at her expense.


End file.
